………
They say, it takes courage to leave someone you love for the goodness of your heart and soul. These past few months, Iβve been struggling a lot. Wondering if itβs still worth holding on and worth fighting for. Wondering If itβs still the pill I needed for the emptiness of my heart. Iβve been told that it is a trap. That it is a poison for my lonely, and sad boring life. But I didnβt budge and for the hundredth time I failed myself, I still chose to follow the command of my heart. Turned out, it caused me much pain more than what I expected. I should never trust my decision when it comes to loving. Never. Iβm not in my usual self for months now and the consequences of my actions are still haunting me even in my dreams. I became distant to God. I lose interest in everything. In writing, in reading, in keeping in touch with my old friends. I am slowly…. slowly drifting away from everything I once claimed to love. It became toxic in my heart, up to my brain that gives me this feeling to hurt myself, to hurt people around me,to regret it all, and to end it all. If this is the price I need to pay for loving the person same as my gender, I surrender. But I need to save myself because I am slowly drowning from the unfairness of the world. Just save me.
β Girlnotsoinlove.